Unlearning everything we tell ourselves

The stories we tell ourselves can quite literally change our reality and when we are going through a season in life that feels disruptive and difficult it’s so easy to be focussed on a negative story.

“I’m rubbish, I’ll never be successful, my work will always take advantage of me, my business will always be quiet.”

To change it we simply need to change the narrative, now I’m not saying it’s easy to change the story we tell ourselves, it’s bloody hard folks. 

I’m going to ask you something and I want you to really think before you answer!

Are you happy?

Now you're thinking “yeah but I’d like to change this or that!” Am I right?

I do this to myself every single day! I tell myself this needs to change, that needs to change and I forget to focus on the brilliance of my reality - the wonderful business I have, the amazing supportive team, the growth that we’ve experienced during such a tough time.

I am in a wonderful position in my life because I have all of this amazing stuff happening and even though I may not have certain aspects of the reality I would like to achieve, I am one step closer to that goal. And the driver for that change is consistency, it's showing up every single day and playing the game. Now I have always been someone who is very positive and at times it can be all too easy to listen to the self chat inside my head that says what are you doing! What makes you special, get a real job.

When I hear these voices I give them a name, what name does your negative voice have?

“Shut up Dad” I say. The voice inside my head is my Dad telling me that I have to work hard to be successful, being at work all of the time and having a healthy bank account. I guess I have thought like this for years and time and time again I would come up against challenge after challenge. 

It is wonderful to be so driven at work but at what cost, who else is suffering because you aren't fully there? I don't want my children to see me as an absent dad.

Growing up my Mum looked after us and Dad worked hard, Mum would pick us up from school, cook, clean and do all the things a mum should do right? Well I wasn't having that, I instinctively knew that in order for me to live a fulfilling life I had to be in an equal loving relationship where we would share responsibilities, this was important because in order for me to achieve my dream of owning my own business we would need compromise and understanding.

As a result I am teaching my children that yes dads collect the kids, yes dads cook and clean and get emotional, yes dads hug and kiss and tell you how much they love you. We do not live by the narrative set out by my parents and their parents and the generations before them. 

And as a result my soul signs in alignment, I feel calm, connected and very happy with my wonderful life.

Of course there is always something we are working through or choosing to ignore, but by changing the story we tell ourselves, being bold and choosing to be uncomfortable we inevitably change, we grow and we see beyond what hundreds before us couldn't because change my friends comes at the end of your comfort zone.

From my soul to yours 

Steven x 

We are holding an all day workshop on exploring your soul story and learning what your true narrative is.

Join us on the 30th April at the Dragonfly Experience at Howden Park Centre, Livingston!

Find out more here - Dragonfly Experience