The Essence of People

In my world I genuinely expect everyone around me to be kind and compassionate. It shocks me that people need to talk about others without their knowledge or pretend to be a friend when in fact they are talking about you or resenting your work, values and drive to be the best you can.

We are not born feeling like this so why does it happen? Over the last year I’ve been investing in my physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing and been looking hard at relationships, friendships etc. How are people treating me? And more importantly do their actions align with their words and their overall view of their relationship with me, how do I feel about them? 

It leads me to understand that as people grow and change so does the relationship, and this doesn’t always mean that this person should be around you anymore. However, we continue to hold that relationship close because of past experience that has bonded you, when in actual fact having them in your present can be toxic and uncomfortable. Yet we continue to say ‘oh but that’s how they are, that’s just their way, they have had so much to deal with.’

It’s wrong folks, it’s so wrong. Why should we cascade our own happiness and emotional wellbeing for someone who is potentially making us sick?

They don’t mean to hurt us, but because you are moving forwards and they aren’t, it’s hard for them to keep up. Instead of levelling up with you they choose to bite at your ankles. Eventually, they tell everyone that you are too high and mighty now, and have no time for them when in actual fact you do, and always did, but it’s hard to be around someone who constantly pulls your energy down.

It may sound selfish when I tell you guys that YOU matter more than them. YOU are the person who will suffer because of complying with their needs and they WILL continue talking in private about you to others. That’s a fact. 

Listen carefully and pay attention to how others speak to you privately about other people. If you are with someone who is talking about other people, then I guarantee you that they will be talking about you to others. When you find yourself in that situation simply say ‘STOP’ kindly and compassionately, ‘I don’t want to talk about (said person) it’s making me uncomfortable, maybe you should go and speak with them honestly about how you feel.’ You will only ever do this a few times and people will realise that they cannot talk with you about others, I never get anyone talking badly about others to me.

So what does all this mean in a spiritual sense? If you are saying kind things, being always open and honest, then the universe opens up and delivers more of that your way. Conflict, pain and anything that feels uncomfortable no longer affects you in the same way. You move beyond drama and discontent, of course at time you may feel annoyed by things but instead you stop, you step back, and you assess the situation. Rather than being reactive you become responsive. 

It amazes me the amount of people who say ‘I am spiritual, I am a Reiki master, I go to church every week for mass, or I go to mosque for Friday midday prayers’ but then live their life outwith their faith and in ways that are not aligned with their beliefs. 

For example, the Reiki master who lives by the principles which vary slightly but usually go:

Just for today I will anger not, worry not.

just for today I will be grateful and humble.

Just for today I will work with appreciation.

Just for today I will be kind to all beings.

However, if they choose to post negative comments or statuses or speak about people, then my mind always flicks back to ‘okay you are human but your faith or your practice must remind you of your responsibility to step back and evaluate.’ I use Reiki as an example as these are the people, I know best, and I get it folks we are all human but we should all think before we act. I always think how on earth can this person channel kind peaceful energy if they are angry and upset? And I always come up with the same answer, yes they can but what else are they giving me that I might not want. 

This takes me back to the title of the blog “The Essence of people” - are people inherently bad? Or is the essence of people mainly good with a touch of bad? The answer for me is everyone has the choice to be good, everyone chooses their actions that define them as humans. Some of the kindest people I have ever met have suffered the worst forms of abuse and equally some of the kindest people are people who have had balanced lives filled with love and acceptance. It all comes down to choice, do you choose to let things hurt you? Does it make you feel better when you react and say or do bad things? For me, the best feeling in the world is kindness…. It feels good to be kind. It feels good to say no I do not agree with that. It feels good to say kind things and tell people how much you care about them. 

It feels good to BE good and it is always a choice. So I ask you my friend what is it you choose today? 

And I finish with an inspirational quote:

“The only bird that dares to peck an eagle is the crow. The crow sits on the eagles back and bites his neck. The eagle does not respond, nor fight with the crow; it does not spend time or energy on the crow instead he just opens its wings and begins to rise higher in the heavens. The higher the flight, the harder it is for the crow to breathe and eventually the crow falls off due to a lack of oxygen.

Learn from the eagle and don't fight the crows, just keep ascending. They might be along for the ride but they'll soon fall off. Do not allow yourself to succumb to the distractions....keep your focus on the things above and continue rising!!”

Keep shining 

Steven x